Cosbie Hollenbeck

So today is Caitlin’s 22 Birthday. We never thought that we would spend it at the infusion lab getting my second round of chemo but never the less I am so glad to have a future wife that is so supportive and never complained one time about it.  I honestly dont know what I would do without her during this time. It is hard. It is not easy but My God is bigger and My God is stronger than all of this. We know that He wants us to go through this and we can see His hand every step of the way.

Today we had round 2 and it was alot easier than the first time because I knew what to expect. During this chemo session I read some of Tony Nolan’s book, Hurt Healer. If you dont have it go get it or ask me for a copy. It is so worth your time. I also watched a sermon from Passion City Church.  This made the time go by faster and also allowed me to see God’s faithfulness through these amazing men of God and what I am learning from them.

My white blood count is really low so please be praying. I am what they call neutropenic (sp?) meaning that I can get sick very easily.  Your white blood count should be about 5700 or so and mine is at 700. It doesn’t take a math expert to see that this is not a great thing. I know that God is with me and that He is going to heal this and that is my prayer right now.  We have a problem and so I know God is going to heal it as He is the ultimate healer as He says in His word. So that is where we are at with Chemo for now.

Today after we got done I took Caitlin to our favorite restaurant for her birthday, Pappasito’s. As soon as we got home I was in bed and asleep.  I slept for a few hours and then we went and had bithday cake with her sweet parents and then came home.

I was about to go to bed and well my head was itching so I reached up to scrach it and what comes out? Just a good chunk of my hair. No big deal at all. They said 14 days. This is 14 so I am not surprised. It is going to be great. I am going to shave my head tonight so I don’t have to deal with all of this. Now that I don’t have any hair it’s time to go and find some sweet hats. I am totally open for some suggestions.  Maybe I will not loose my facial hair. That would look kinda cool, but we will see.

So all of this being said I am doing great. Tired, fatigued and well sore, but My God is faithful and will continue to be especially when I have literally hundreds of people praying for me. Never underestimate the power of prayer and never underestimate God. These are two major things that I have learned in the past 21 days.  Love all of you and let me know if there is anything I can do for you or how I can pray for y’all.

Cosbie

Today is my 23 birthday. I would have never thought I would have cancer at 23 but I know God has a reason and He is starting to show me.  I have slacked at the updates but we are one week out from my first round of chemo and God has been so faithful. I have had very little side effects I mean they are there and part of my life but well it is just part of it. Just to make it easy I am going to list them.

-fatigure on the first 5 days and still not too full strength

-bone pain for a few days overall gone now

-taste buds were gone for about 72 hours but they are back now

-no feeling in my finger tips…….

-right arm hurts from the drugs and honestly this will be in my life for a long time and when I say hurt it is more of a burn that is just part of my life.

So these were my major problems that I had. For the first week after I slept about 12 hours a night and took a few hour naps. After doing this for about 5 days I started getting better. I am not going to say this is easy at all but I am doing it and I can see God helping me.

So many of you ask what to pray for so I am going to let you know.

Praises.

-Chemo is going better than expected.

-I am able to do alot of the same things but slower and have to be careful.

-God has been faithful to allow me to let his name be known through this.

- My WBC was really good when I went to the doctor on Monday.

Requests-

-Chemo again on Monday at 10:30

-I need to keep finding work to make a little money through this as my income is down while I am not traveling running sound. Things that I love to do and I am good at are video editing, audio editing, web design, sound system install and repairs, website design, computer repairs, lessons on anything to do with Mac or PC products, but if you know me I am a Mac guy. If you have any thing you need done please let me know I would love to help you with it during this time.

-Just honestly for comfort and for everything to keep going as well as it has been.

Thanks so much for your prayers and I am going to do better updating …..sorry guys.

Let me know how often you would like to hear from me.

Cosbie

Today I start chemo. I am ready to do this, so here it goes.

Update later tonight.

Today I got up and went down to a church that I have a partnership with in their weekly audio and video needs. I met with them and made sure everything went great then I went over to attend church with Caitlin at noonday. We had a great service and enjoyed worshiping with them this week. Towards the end of the service they took the time and prayed over us as we are about to go through all of this and we are so grateful for all of the prayers. It is so great to know we have so many people supporting us through prayer.

Later that night we went to Passion City Church or PCC. This is honestly me and Caitlin’s Church home right now. We feel so at home and love the speaking and worship here.  The music is amazing and honestly one of my favorite things to go too all week.  If you ever want to go with us please let me know we would love for you to go with us.

Late last night one of our great friends sent me a text and asked me if they could get a group of people together to pray for me.  At first thought I was like I dont like to be the center of attention and well I really don’t want to do that. Then within the same thought I was like hold on I have someone that wants to get together and have people pray for me. I am crazy to not want this to happen so I text them back and let them know that I would love for that to happen. So they plan this event for Friday night. I honestly felt weird about asking people to pray for me. I don’t know why but I just honestly  have a hard time asking people to do things for me but I put out a memo on all the social networks and was like lets see who shows up. So 7:30 comes around and there are a good 30-40 people at my house. I can honestly say I was humbled to have all of these people come over just to pray for me.  It was such a amazing experience and honestly blessed me deeply. I firmly believe in the power of prayer and am so grateful for all of the people that came and prayed over me for the 30-45 min that it lasted. I honestly don’t know why God is causing me to go through this and giving me this platform but what I do know is that I am going to glorify Him throughout this entire journey.  I know Monday is going to be hard for me but with all of these people praying and supporting me it is just so encouraging.  I am so greatful for each one of you that came or that has prayed for me through this journey. Thanks so much.

Love each of you so much,

Cosbie

Over the next 3 days I will do alot to get ready to start chemo on Monday.  The last test that I had to have was to have a heart Echo. I did that test on Friday morning. The main reason for this test for me  to get a baseline on my heart before I start chemo as it can be very hard on your heart. As I assume you are aware, these are very strong drugs and if your heart is not in good shape it will not be able to handle them correctly.

On Thursday God had put it on my heart to go do something for a friend. He had told me to go and give him a certain amount of money that honestly doesn’t matter so I am going to leave that out.  Now I will be honest with you I kinda questioned God and was like God I have no idea how I am going to make money over the next few months are you sure. And everything I kept hearing back was yes go and give Him x dollars. There was never a question on this. So  I got in my car went to were He worked.  He is a waiter and happened to be on a break.  So we talk and just chat then as i am leaving I just give it too him.  He honestly I think started to cry a little but I just said I know you need this money. I don’t know why but I know you do. I turned around and walked out.  Now I say all of this not to say I am amazing because I give people money or anything. I say this because I have learned that when God tells you to do something do it. No matter how crazy, how weird, or how much you think it is going to cause you financial problems just do it. God knows everything and all He wants is for us to trust Him.  This is something that I have learned already threw out this journey God has me on.  Again not sure why He has a 22 year old going through cancer, chemo, and radiation but what I do know is that He is in control of my life and I am here to glorify him in all I do. So I challenge you will this.  Obey God in all areas, listen to his voice and follow Him I promise you that you will never miss anything you give away.

Warren and Cindy Barber are hosting a prayer time for me tomorrow night, Friday, Feb. 25 at 7:30 in my home. (4906 Day Lily Way, Acworth, GA 30102) All are welcome and no RSVP is needed.

Today we went and had my last CT scan done this morning and overall that is a really easy and simple test. It was my third one to get done so it was not a big deal.  After that me and my mom went to Panera to grab some breakfast. Had a great time doing that then we just came home and I took a little nap because I have not been sleeping great because of the stress of the situation that I know you understand.

At 12:30 we went to meet with Dr. Andrews. It was me, my mom, my dad, and Caitin my soon to be wife. They called me and they called Mrs. Hollenbeck,  you just have to laugh at that a little bit but whatever it is all good. Next we do the standard vitals and blood-work and such and just kinda wait on the doctor.

Within a few min Dr.Andrews comes in and we talk for a long time. He spent a good 10 min explaining all of the currect resuerach that is being done in Germany to find out how to best solve this form of cancer. That was very refreshing for me to hear that I am dealing with a doctor that is up on all of the currect research and that He is not going to do what he just learned in college 30+ years ago. So we get to talking and he says I have a stage 2a.  There are 4 stages so first off this is incredible and a huge praise. Honestly I was kinda relieved to find out that it was not all in my bone marrow and such. That was one of my biggest fears. So with that fear being gone I just set back and listened as he explained all that I was going to go through and why this route. After a few min he said lets go look at your CT and PET scans together one more time. So we go down the hall and just look at them with him and he talks us through them.  Then he starts to see  that I might be a lower case than they thought just by looking at all the tests side by side. When we get back to the room he looks at me in the room and feels my neck and basically says I think you are a 1a. Wow that is a really huge blessing so he was confirming with the radiologist but I believe that it is a class 1a.

Long story short …what does this mean.? It took about  30 min for him to explain so here is the short version.

-2 Cycles of chemo. That is a total of 4 times every other week… that equals 2 months.

-First chemo is on Monday at 10:30 and last for 2-3 hours. Please be praying for me and body next week to accept it and for me to not be really sick because of it.

-I am going to lose all of my hair. This is just part of life.  Just gonna have to find some sweet looking hats and such. Lets do this.

-After chemo I will have 3 weeks off then a PET scan to see how my body is doing. Honestly this is just to check and make sure it is almost gone if not completely.

-I then will have 14-17 days straight of radiation.  That honestly should not be that bad.

Overall I am pumped. I am so excited with the results and I am so grateful that God has kept me from having the worst stages. The road is still going to be long and hard but I can do this with His help.  I am so grateful for all of your prayers and I will ask that you keep praying. There are still some many things that could happen, but I am just going to continue to trust God as I know He has a reason for all of this.  He is in control and I will never forget that.

Love all of you.

Cosbie

Today was honestly a really great day! I felt the best that I have in a long time. I had a PET scan this morning and then just ran some errands this afternoon by myself just to get out of the house and drive around because I love to be able to do that.  So I am so glad that I had a day like today.

Alot of you have asked what you can do to help me, Caitlin, and my family. So I am just going to list out some things that I know of right now. These are going to change but thought I would throw it out there.

1. Pray for Me to be a good wittiness through all of this and keep a good attitude about the whole situation and for the doctors to know what to do to heal me the fastest way possible.

2. Pray for Caitlin, my soon to be bride, just for her to have comfort and peace while she finishes school and helps take care of me through this.

3. Pray for my family just to have peace and comfort during this time as this is going to be hard on them as well taking care of me.

4. If you want to you can bring us meals. It is a huge blessing when we dont have to worry about this.  One of my mom’s friends set up a meal train for us. If you go to http://www.mealtrain.com/ and sign up for a account you can find my mom Carol Ann Hollenbeck and you can see what days we need meals.  It is such a blessing to us to have these meals brought. Thanks so much for your help in this area. Let me know if you have any problems you can leave a commit or email me at cosbiehollenbeck@gmail.com

Use this link to find the meal train

http://www.mealtrain.com/?id=m5ggi6hcco8t

Cosbie

Today I got to go and get the drain out that the doctor had put in me. This was because the area he operated on just had a lot of glands and it has to have a drain so that it will heal correctly.  So this thing had been a major bother through the whole thing just because I had to sleep on one side of my body and I also had to be careful not to get it caught on anything at all. So I was so excited when I got to go get this thing out.

So, I go meet the doctor and within a matter of oh 30 seconds he has this thing gone and I am ready to go. We got to talking a little bit and he explained to me that it was a little harder of a surgery than he had planned because of the type of lymphoma but he got what he needed and did it will perfection so that is a total praise. That was the end of the drain or Drain Boy as Caitlin called me.

Then we decided to go and meet with our Marriage Counselor  and discuss all of this with him. As some of you know we are getting married in 89 days from today and that is May 21,2011. So lets just say all of this has changed some things and we just needed to go and talk to him because before we do get married we have to go through this class. Honestly that was such a great meeting and we had a great time just talking and figuring out stuff. Some of the hard decisions that are on Caitlin and I have to do with canceling our honeymoon that I had already planned and paid for. Now lets be honest who thinks that they are going to have to cancel there honeymoon of all things?  I mean it is ok and honestly I know there is a reason for all of this  and for why we are not doing this but still it is not fun or easy. So this is my life right now and I am actually really happy and ready to see what God teaches me through this.