Cosbie Hollenbeck

Late last night one of our great friends sent me a text and asked me if they could get a group of people together to pray for me.  At first thought I was like I dont like to be the center of attention and well I really don’t want to do that. Then within the same thought I was like hold on I have someone that wants to get together and have people pray for me. I am crazy to not want this to happen so I text them back and let them know that I would love for that to happen. So they plan this event for Friday night. I honestly felt weird about asking people to pray for me. I don’t know why but I just honestly  have a hard time asking people to do things for me but I put out a memo on all the social networks and was like lets see who shows up. So 7:30 comes around and there are a good 30-40 people at my house. I can honestly say I was humbled to have all of these people come over just to pray for me.  It was such a amazing experience and honestly blessed me deeply. I firmly believe in the power of prayer and am so grateful for all of the people that came and prayed over me for the 30-45 min that it lasted. I honestly don’t know why God is causing me to go through this and giving me this platform but what I do know is that I am going to glorify Him throughout this entire journey.  I know Monday is going to be hard for me but with all of these people praying and supporting me it is just so encouraging.  I am so greatful for each one of you that came or that has prayed for me through this journey. Thanks so much.

Love each of you so much,

Cosbie

Over the next 3 days I will do alot to get ready to start chemo on Monday.  The last test that I had to have was to have a heart Echo. I did that test on Friday morning. The main reason for this test for me  to get a baseline on my heart before I start chemo as it can be very hard on your heart. As I assume you are aware, these are very strong drugs and if your heart is not in good shape it will not be able to handle them correctly.

On Thursday God had put it on my heart to go do something for a friend. He had told me to go and give him a certain amount of money that honestly doesn’t matter so I am going to leave that out.  Now I will be honest with you I kinda questioned God and was like God I have no idea how I am going to make money over the next few months are you sure. And everything I kept hearing back was yes go and give Him x dollars. There was never a question on this. So  I got in my car went to were He worked.  He is a waiter and happened to be on a break.  So we talk and just chat then as i am leaving I just give it too him.  He honestly I think started to cry a little but I just said I know you need this money. I don’t know why but I know you do. I turned around and walked out.  Now I say all of this not to say I am amazing because I give people money or anything. I say this because I have learned that when God tells you to do something do it. No matter how crazy, how weird, or how much you think it is going to cause you financial problems just do it. God knows everything and all He wants is for us to trust Him.  This is something that I have learned already threw out this journey God has me on.  Again not sure why He has a 22 year old going through cancer, chemo, and radiation but what I do know is that He is in control of my life and I am here to glorify him in all I do. So I challenge you will this.  Obey God in all areas, listen to his voice and follow Him I promise you that you will never miss anything you give away.

Warren and Cindy Barber are hosting a prayer time for me tomorrow night, Friday, Feb. 25 at 7:30 in my home. (4906 Day Lily Way, Acworth, GA 30102) All are welcome and no RSVP is needed.

Today we went and had my last CT scan done this morning and overall that is a really easy and simple test. It was my third one to get done so it was not a big deal.  After that me and my mom went to Panera to grab some breakfast. Had a great time doing that then we just came home and I took a little nap because I have not been sleeping great because of the stress of the situation that I know you understand.

At 12:30 we went to meet with Dr. Andrews. It was me, my mom, my dad, and Caitin my soon to be wife. They called me and they called Mrs. Hollenbeck,  you just have to laugh at that a little bit but whatever it is all good. Next we do the standard vitals and blood-work and such and just kinda wait on the doctor.

Within a few min Dr.Andrews comes in and we talk for a long time. He spent a good 10 min explaining all of the currect resuerach that is being done in Germany to find out how to best solve this form of cancer. That was very refreshing for me to hear that I am dealing with a doctor that is up on all of the currect research and that He is not going to do what he just learned in college 30+ years ago. So we get to talking and he says I have a stage 2a.  There are 4 stages so first off this is incredible and a huge praise. Honestly I was kinda relieved to find out that it was not all in my bone marrow and such. That was one of my biggest fears. So with that fear being gone I just set back and listened as he explained all that I was going to go through and why this route. After a few min he said lets go look at your CT and PET scans together one more time. So we go down the hall and just look at them with him and he talks us through them.  Then he starts to see  that I might be a lower case than they thought just by looking at all the tests side by side. When we get back to the room he looks at me in the room and feels my neck and basically says I think you are a 1a. Wow that is a really huge blessing so he was confirming with the radiologist but I believe that it is a class 1a.

Long story short …what does this mean.? It took about  30 min for him to explain so here is the short version.

-2 Cycles of chemo. That is a total of 4 times every other week… that equals 2 months.

-First chemo is on Monday at 10:30 and last for 2-3 hours. Please be praying for me and body next week to accept it and for me to not be really sick because of it.

-I am going to lose all of my hair. This is just part of life.  Just gonna have to find some sweet looking hats and such. Lets do this.

-After chemo I will have 3 weeks off then a PET scan to see how my body is doing. Honestly this is just to check and make sure it is almost gone if not completely.

-I then will have 14-17 days straight of radiation.  That honestly should not be that bad.

Overall I am pumped. I am so excited with the results and I am so grateful that God has kept me from having the worst stages. The road is still going to be long and hard but I can do this with His help.  I am so grateful for all of your prayers and I will ask that you keep praying. There are still some many things that could happen, but I am just going to continue to trust God as I know He has a reason for all of this.  He is in control and I will never forget that.

Love all of you.

Cosbie

Today was honestly a really great day! I felt the best that I have in a long time. I had a PET scan this morning and then just ran some errands this afternoon by myself just to get out of the house and drive around because I love to be able to do that.  So I am so glad that I had a day like today.

Alot of you have asked what you can do to help me, Caitlin, and my family. So I am just going to list out some things that I know of right now. These are going to change but thought I would throw it out there.

1. Pray for Me to be a good wittiness through all of this and keep a good attitude about the whole situation and for the doctors to know what to do to heal me the fastest way possible.

2. Pray for Caitlin, my soon to be bride, just for her to have comfort and peace while she finishes school and helps take care of me through this.

3. Pray for my family just to have peace and comfort during this time as this is going to be hard on them as well taking care of me.

4. If you want to you can bring us meals. It is a huge blessing when we dont have to worry about this.  One of my mom’s friends set up a meal train for us. If you go to http://www.mealtrain.com/ and sign up for a account you can find my mom Carol Ann Hollenbeck and you can see what days we need meals.  It is such a blessing to us to have these meals brought. Thanks so much for your help in this area. Let me know if you have any problems you can leave a commit or email me at cosbiehollenbeck@gmail.com

Use this link to find the meal train

http://www.mealtrain.com/?id=m5ggi6hcco8t

Cosbie

Today I got to go and get the drain out that the doctor had put in me. This was because the area he operated on just had a lot of glands and it has to have a drain so that it will heal correctly.  So this thing had been a major bother through the whole thing just because I had to sleep on one side of my body and I also had to be careful not to get it caught on anything at all. So I was so excited when I got to go get this thing out.

So, I go meet the doctor and within a matter of oh 30 seconds he has this thing gone and I am ready to go. We got to talking a little bit and he explained to me that it was a little harder of a surgery than he had planned because of the type of lymphoma but he got what he needed and did it will perfection so that is a total praise. That was the end of the drain or Drain Boy as Caitlin called me.

Then we decided to go and meet with our Marriage Counselor  and discuss all of this with him. As some of you know we are getting married in 89 days from today and that is May 21,2011. So lets just say all of this has changed some things and we just needed to go and talk to him because before we do get married we have to go through this class. Honestly that was such a great meeting and we had a great time just talking and figuring out stuff. Some of the hard decisions that are on Caitlin and I have to do with canceling our honeymoon that I had already planned and paid for. Now lets be honest who thinks that they are going to have to cancel there honeymoon of all things?  I mean it is ok and honestly I know there is a reason for all of this  and for why we are not doing this but still it is not fun or easy. So this is my life right now and I am actually really happy and ready to see what God teaches me through this.

This brings me to what is supposed to be the fun and enjoyable part of the week.  I mean most of the time it is anyways but today was just a little different. Honestly I slept alot today just to get rid of the pain that was there.  The hard thing is that I can not just go somewhere. I am not aloud to drive because of the drugs that they have me on for pain and secondly even if I could it would not be smart because of the drain that they have in my neck. All of this being said I was grateful for the people that came over to visit me and my parents just to keep my mind off of things.

Now brings Sunday. I had decided that I was not going to go to church because I just didn’t think I would feel up to it.  I watched FBCW online along with North Point Church. That was great and so far the morning was going great. So I asked Caitlin if we could go to REI, Target and the mall just so I could get out of the house. So we decide to do that and go to REI and honestly once I get there I start to feel really weird and not all there. So I kinda tell Caitlin but we just are like you haven’t eaten all day so we go get some food and drinks from Starbucks and then shop some inside Target.  After this is done I am feeling ok but still kinda weird so we go to Panera to get some real food. I was kinda excited to eat some real food that sounded good. Caitlin was having one of her good friends meet us there just because she wanted to see her. So that was all good until I felt really sick and so I made them take me home right then. So we are on my way home and not even 3 minutes from my house I throw up in Caitlin’s car. This was just not fun and honestly was horrible.  I mean I felt better after but who likes that smell anyways? So we make it home after stopping for a few minutes and my dad cleans her car out for her and I go to sleep.  So after a little while we realize that the pain meds I was on can cause this and the patch they had given me for nausea I had taken off that morning because it no longer worked. So lets just say I will not make that mistake again.

So overall I had a ok weekend. Ready to get the rest of my tests done so I know what stage I am in.

Tomorrow I go get the drain taken out of my neck that I have had to change every few hours. So I am excited about that.

Cosbie

Day 4.

Got a call at about 10:30 AM that the doctor would be calling me within the hour on the results of the surgery and what they had found out. I have to be honest it was a total blessing that the doctors moved this fast and that less that 24 hours after surgery I was going to have the results of the biopsy. It was a mixed emotion of happy and sad and nervous to get to find this out. Honestly I knew what the doctor was going to say and I had decided that if I did not have it I would see it as a blessing and God had healed me.

So the doctor called, Dr.Andrews that is, this is the oncologist(or cancer doctor). He confirms with me and my parents that I have Nodular Scleorsing Hodgkins Lymphoma. So this confirmed that I will be going through chemo and possibly radiation over the next 6-9 months. As of right now I don’t know much about what all of this means. I honestly just am waiting to see what stage my cancer is in and go from there as far as how long treatment is.

Dr. Andrews gets off the phone and says I want to see you Monday. Be looking out for a call from my office in the next few min.

So not even 3 min goes by and I get a call on my cell from his office and they ask if I can be there at 1:00 that day to meet with one of the other doctors there to start getting the tests going. Granted it is about 12:15 right now but I am going to make this appointment and get this going. So we say we will be there and start to get ready to go.

Now you must understand that Caitlin(finance) is at work so I call her and tell her what has been confirmed and she basically was very sad but was very much we can do this and we are going to get through this. She finds a way to leave her school and meets me at the office to meet with the doctor.

So we get to the doctor and they run some tests and such and all is going amazing.  Nothing really hurts just standard blood work and that kinda stuff then they go we need to do a Bone Marrow Test. **Warning** if you get grossed out skip this part……..

So this doctor tells me about this process and such and says that about 95% of people do it without being put to sleep so I am like ok I can do this it cant really be that bad. I mean he is going to numb me and all. So I say go for it. So he starts to numb the skin then the nerves and then he numbs what he can of my bone. Next comes the hard part. he has to crack into my bone so that he can get the marrow out. At this point he is about 2.-3 inches inside of me and it hurts but I mean nothing I cant stand. This goes the part he said would hurt but I think I underestimated or he didn’t tell me how much it really hurt. I think he did the later but whatever….For a good 8-10 seconds he pulls bone marrow out of me. Lets just say I have never had a pain anywhere close to the level of this. And I had some words that I would have liked to say but didn’t. Worse part of this is that He has to do it twice………So the whole time I am txt messaging people to try to keep the thoughts out of my brain. So he goes again and honestly I have never felt anything that bad. It felt like he was pulling my insides out of me and creating a suction and in fact he was. So well that was the hard part. The rest was him breaking off a piece of my bone so that the can look at it. That hurt but I mean honestly that was not bad at all. It took him 3 times to get it but it was honestly not that bad.  So after he does this he gets this like 3 inch or more needle out of me. Let’s just say I am glad that was over.

I was not able to walk out that day because I was so lightheaded, so they had to take me out in a wheelchair because of the pain but it was done and that is all that matters.

So that night I went home and basically did nothing I was just in alot of pain and honestly just wanted to sleep and that is what I did.

Overall an ok day. I made it through. God was with me. I am going to defeat lymphoma with God’s help.

Surgery.

36 hours ago I would have told you I was going to be setting up for a show in Joplin, Mo with the band that I work for The Museum. I love working with these guys and we have a great friendship to say the least. There is no question that these guys love the Lord and they have been so supportive of me so far as I know they will continue to be.

Thursday Morning I wake up knowing that I am going into surgery to find out what is going on in my body. Up until this point I have been very strong and not really scarred but this morning it hit me.  After I got up and got a shower I just started crying. I just could not completely understand why God has chosen to put me down this path. I had accepted the fact that I had cancer and that this was something that I was going to have to fight.  I never doubted that God knows what He was doing. It is just really hard to know that you are going in for surgery. After a little while of praying and reading and crying I was finally kinda ok and just pushed through.  Around 10:30 Caitlin came over and we all prayed together before we left as this was definitely something that I needed. After that we went to the Hospital to start the surgery process. My pre-op was at 11:15 and surgery was at 1:15. We got there and got going and someone had cancelled so I got to go earlier and honestly I was really glad that I did.  So I went back for surgery and honestly it was one of the hardest things to do. I know I might sound like a wimp but it is hard to leave all of the people you love.

So surgery went for about 1.5 hours and from what I can remember it was not that bad and I made it home with no problems at all. After taking some good drugs I was able to eat a good dinner and talk with everyone. We had a few friends that came over to pray for me that night and honestly that was one of the biggest blessings.  I am so glad to have so many people that care about me.

So Wednesday was just a day of sitting waiting, praying, reading, crying, and just believing that God was going to choose the path that He had for me. On Wednesday I talked to most of my friends and the word started to get out. I will say one of the most powerful things that happened this day was the few people that took the time to pray with me on the Phone. Not to say that if you didn’t that was a bad thing but it was amazing to know that I was being lifted up by so many of my friends and family members. The one thing that I have hung  onto is that prayer works and that nobody is going to tell me otherwise. That doesn’t mean that God is going to heal me if I ask him to, it just means that He is going to be by my side through all of this no matter what.  Since yesterday I have had a peace about this. I am not sure why but I truly believe that God has a reason for having me go through this or I would not go though this.

Today  I talked to the Pre-Op nurse and got my surgery all ready to go. Tomorrow begins the healing process. Not sure what it looks like but I know God does.